Is it small? My boyfriend owes me money but won’t pay

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Source: Vladimir Vladimirov / Getty

Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared on MadameNoire on June 10, 2016.

I think we can all agree that lending money to friends and family is a no-no. There is nothing worse than having to find a less than aggressive way to confront your aunt or friend about that loan they took for a gift. And while blowing up Rihanna’s “B — h Better Have My Money” is a great way to do it in theory, it’s likely going to make a negative situation worse. So unless the person asking for parts is known to pay people back on a timely basis, tell them all you can lend them is the lint in your pocket.

But what do you do when your boyfriend needs to borrow money to cover some expenses and comes to you? You might also want to cry broke in this situation. In the case of a woman, she would probably encourage you to do so after her boyfriend for over a year decided to take his time to pay her off on a hefty loan. Things were going well in their relationship – until he decided to stick her for his paper.

“He paid me back a small amount, but right now he owes me $ 330 because of other things that have piled up,” the young woman wrote online. “Every time I ask him that question he gets pissed off and pissed off… I’m sick of waiting and I’m afraid he’ll take advantage of me because I have more money. “

I can’t imagine trying to make a relationship work when your boyfriend owes you money and has the nerve to be annoyed by your inquiries about when you’ll get that money back. If he doesn’t pay soon, I’m pretty sure this young lady’s resentment will grow even stronger, and if he does, it will be time to consider if this is someone she needs to be with. to be. A few dollars here and there is one thing, but lend hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars to have your partner drag their feet to pay? Not a good look. The fact that he doesn’t see the importance of paying what he owes, as if ignoring it would kill any communication on the subject since she is his girlfriend, shows that he has less than admirable traits in as a partner.

Without adding to the pettiness here, but if things seem to be going well aside from the money issue, I would probably choose to avoid taking notes or helping with expenses and outings. If and when he asks why she isn’t helping him or reimbursing him for the purchases he made for her (maybe when she needs him for certain groceries), she can always gracefully remind him of this. debt.

But other than that, I wouldn’t run to Judge Judy about it. Legal costs are not a joke and time wasted? Well, it’s up to the injured party to determine if it’s really worth it. But sometimes you have to suffer loss to learn an important life lesson. In this situation, the lesson is that you don’t need to play Shylock with anyone, and you shouldn’t lend money that you can’t afford to lose. So, for the young lady in this messy financial situation, I would recommend confronting her boyfriend in a straightforward way with a real plan on how he can pay what he owes (instead of just asking, “When can you?” refund me ? “). Tell him that she will take a certain amount per week or that she will come knocking when he gets paid. If he can’t oblige her, she can tell him he won’t hear from her. Yes, maybe it would be better for her to cut her losses and cut him off (and maybe swear to it when you come out of the door) …

But as always, this is only my opinion. What do you say? Is this a little problem that she should let go or should she cut it if he can’t choose not to pay? How would you handle things?

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